IT'S COMPLICATED

So, we’re moving on. If you’ve been following our story, you know that the delivery of my new house on wheels has been delayed, and delayed, and delayed. You really can’t imagine the stress … well, maybe you can. I guess others experience stress, too. I know you’re saying, “It’s not just cats, you idiot.” But, we are highly complex beings so I have to think you don’t know what you’re talking about.

I just ended a sentence with a preposition, which reminds me of a joke. A young lady from the Midwest is attending freshman orientation at Harvard. She is walking across the quad and stops an upperclassman to ask directions to her faculty advisor’s office. “Would you tell me where the faculty offices are at?” The upperclassman replies, “At Harvard, we do not end our sentences with a preposition.” The young lady says, “Okay, would you tell me where the business office is at, asshole?”

Well, we have been staying in our downstairs suite for some time because of the delay. The family living in the house has been lovely. There are three kids. We have sort of been occupying the bedroom of the eldest. She is a fifteen-year-old human and has been incredibly patient with not having her space. The middle kid is great. He seems to lose a tooth every week, so the tooth fairy visits on a regular basis. The money these kids make from the TF is astounding. That brings me to the youngest - she is a pistol. Constant motion. She loves to talk. I’ve tried to keep her at paws length, but it’s impossible. Everyone loves to pet a cat. It’s a pretty good feeling for both the petter and the pettee.

Here’s the latest. She’s allergic to Betty and me. WTF? Her eyes get all red and watery. Her throat is scratchy and raw. Here’s what I think … I’m allergic to her! You see where this is going. We have to leave my fireplace, my comfy bed, my window sill where I love to sit, and MOVE!

Allergic my ass. Here are a couple of pertinent and obvious questions. Can we just get them to move? Can you get rid of kids? I have grown accustomed to the condition in which we live. I don’t like change and I’m not going to keep it a secret.

Buster